1. Firstly, have you seen our city?
Just check out this saucy view from the castle. Daaaamn, it’s fine.
2. Well, we’re just as sexy as the scenery.
If not more so.
3. And we’re raised from birth to be charming AF.
There’s a reason Sean Connery was chosen to be the first James Bond. #JustSaying
4. Plus we genuinely get better with age.
Iain Glen in 2005 vs Iain “Ser Jorah Mormont” Glen in 2015. No contest.
5. You won’t be able to get enough of our thoughtful, adorable, funny, and charming side.
We’ll always buy you flowers and we’re never rude or cheeky. We leave that sort of thing to Glaswegians.
6. And you definitely won’t be able to get enough of our food.
Like this loaded roasted veg and jalapeño burger from Graze.
7. Or our drinks.
Although “drink” is a pretty big understatement when you’re talking about a Mary’s Milk Bar spiced cherry and hazelnut praline ice cream-laden hot chocolate float.
9. Which will basically take place inside a Harry Potterbook.
Otherwise known as super-swanky restaurant The Witchery By The Castle.
10. Or maybe we’ll just take a stroll along the Shore?
We have the prettiest waterfront in Scotland. It’d be a shame to waste it.
11. And if you get hungry, we’ll introduce you to chippy sauce: Our finest delicacy of all.
Is it gravy? Is it vinegar? Is it some kind of gravinegar? No one knows, but it’ll definitely warm the cockles of your heart.
12. We’ll definitely live somewhere like this.
Historic White Horse Close is the cutest courtyard around. We will buy it for you if you marry us.
13. Our winter nights in will look like this.
Can’t decide which delicious La Favorita pizza you want? We’ll just order four.
14. And our winter nights out will be truly spectacular.
We will buy you expensive mulled wine, then take you up the Scott Monument.
15. In summer we’ll have sexy picnics in our sexy parks…
Like the pretty, tree-lined Meadows.
16. …stroll hand in hand around the Edinburgh Festival…
17. …then watch the sun set over the city.
From our secret spot on Arthur’s Seat.
18. We’re stylish, classy, and dapper as hell.
19. But that certainly doesn’t mean we don’t have a good sense of humour.
20. And our “romantic gestures” are second-to-none.
We will gift wrap a post box every day until you say yes.
21. Plus we always know how to show you a good time 😉
Hogmanay always ends with a kiss; we’ll sweep you off your feet.
22. In fact, we’ll definitely make you see fireworks.
And some of them will be in your pants.
23. In short, you should definitely marry an Edinburgher. We’re sexy, classy, and fantastic. And so is our city.
So go on, what are you waiting for?