1. The shitty dare:
When I was 10, I was dared to smear dog poop on my face. I didn’t have a dog, so I went looking for some random dog’s turd. I did it and won $10.
2. The vomit dare:
Jokingly, I dared my friend to lick the puke on the parking lot floor. She immediately got down on her knees and did it. I still feel bad about it.
3. The sweet and sour dare:
I was in college and was dared to snort some Sour Patch Kids sugar. The payment? One dollar and a package of Easy Mac. I got a bloody nose, but that Easy Mac was delicious.
4. The penis dare:
I work at an all-girl’s horse camp in the summer, and my friend was dared to lick a horse’s penis. She claims she didn’t actually do it, but I definitely saw tongue-to-horse-dick contact.
5. The ballsy dare:
Once on a triple dog dare, I was dared to place my balls in a sleeping friend’s open hand. It was funny at first, but then he woke up and squeezed them with a death grip.
6. The dusty dare:
In middle school, I licked the entire length of the gym wall on a dare. My mouth went dry with dust and who knows what else.
7. The peanut butter dare:
I had to cover my entire face with peanut butter. It took forever to get off, and my face smelled like it for days. It did leave my skin very soft, though.
8. The parkour dare:
In middle school I was dared to jump down a flight of stairs. We lined the bottom with pillows and blankets so it would be cushioned when I landed. I missed the bottom by one step, landed right on my tailbone, and had to sit on a pregnancy doughnut for a week. Including at school. To this day, it still hurts every once in a while.
9. The buggy dare:
I was dared to eat a bug for a dollar. I was so broke that I ate two.
10. The cleansing dare:
My friend was dared to eat one of those school antibacterial wipes. She ended up foaming at the mouth when she talked for days.
11. The naked dare:
I was at a friend’s house. We were in her hot tub, and I got dared to take my swimsuit off and run across the yard. I was halfway back when the girl’s dad came out with snacks. That was the last time I was invited to their home.
12. The thirsty dare:
I dared my friend to drink the water from the toilet. She drank it with a straw.
13. The bloody tampon dare:
I was dared to put my used, bloody tampon in an envelope and put it in my neighbor’s mailbox.
14. The heavenly dare:
I mooned a room full of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
15. The spicy dare:
I ate two habanero peppers on a dare and let out a scream that didn’t sound like a noise an actual human could make. My face swelled up like Will Smith’s in Hitch, and I spent the entire night throwing up.
16. The drunken dare:
I was slightly intoxicated and was dared to eat some raw chicken. I got salmonella.
17. The payback dare:
In college, I was dared to lick the fungus-ridden, dirty toe of a guy on the wrestling team. After a good Listerine rinse, I got immediate revenge on the jerk who dared me to do it by daring him to take a sip of water from his fish’s tank. Vomit followed, and vengeance was mine!