1. When the player selection screen appears, and everyone stomps on one another to pick their fave.
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2. Then the light turns green, and you realize your best friend may love you in person, but they want you OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY on the road.
3. And you quickly come to find that for as long as everyone has a controller in hand, no friendships exist.
7. And when you don’t apologize, BECAUSE THIS IS WAR AND YOU AREN’T HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.
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8. When you hit your (usually) quiet friend with lightning, and they spit some incredibly colorful new words. And suddenly, you don’t know who they are.
9. And you look around and are terrified, because suddenly everyone looks like a monster.
10. When someone passes you up and you realize you will probably die alone, with the words “8th Place” carved into your tombstone.
11. And if someone waits for you, you are still going to hate them. Because you don’t need pity.
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12. Every unforgettable moment someone you trust betrays you. THEY KNOW YOUR WEAKNESSES.
13. And then you do the same, because you know theirs. GAME ON, ASSHOLES.
14. When you discover that one friend who is creepily good at Rainbow Road. And you’re scared of them.
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15. When you win, and you can feel everyone else form a personal vendetta against you.
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16. And if you lose, you hate them more. Because you KNOW they will rub it in your face.
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