1. You’ve recently swapped your nice handbag for a practical, roomy backpack.
It gives you enough space to store your Savlon, hand-sanitiser, and a spare pack of tissues, and it means the weight of your belongings is evenly distributed across your back.
2. And you’ve started scolding your S.O. when they get fingerprints on the windows.
And the mirror. And the kitchen surfaces. And the middles of photographs. It just makes everything look so grubby.
3. Don’t even get me started on wiping down the hob.
Or leaving the dishcloth out in a crumpled up pile, as if they actually want it to mould.
4. You wear mum jeans with everything.
In fact, you own multiple pairs.
5. Your drink of choice is a white wine spritzer.
But these days you find yourself getting a little merry after just one.
6. And you always turn up to the pub with snacks.
Because the notion of paying more than a pound for a packet of crisps when everyone gets peckish is laughable.
7. Of course, you’re always the first to suggest that a break away group leaves the pub to get dinner.
The younger pub goers can go out dancing if they want.
8. You don’t see anything wrong with putting a blanket over your knees if you’re sitting outside and it’s cold.
It’s just a practical way to stay cosy.
9. You’ve recently invested in a nice box of thank you cards.
And you take it as a personal insult when your friends forget to send them to you.
10. And you’ve been known to say the phrase, “Didn’t his mother teach him any manners?”
Usually when someone shows up to dinner empty handed, fails to introduce themselves to other guests, or forgets to return something they’ve borrowed.
11. Your ideal evening involves a long bubble bath and a deep conditioning hair mask.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to avoid split ends, is there?
12. You sincerely enjoy putting together a packed lunch from what you can find in the fridge.
And if you’ve got one browning banana, HELLO BANANA BREAD.
13. You would never leave the house without a cardie.
You wouldn’t want to catch a chill.
14. And you always find yourself reminding your friends to bring a coat too.
You know, just in case.
15. “Does anyone need the loo?” <—- You, every time you leave an indoor space with a toilet.
You know they’ll only need it again later.
16. You spend more money on fancy cooking oils and herbs than you do on clothes.
And you often spend your lunch break googling recipes to try out that evening.
17. When guests come round, you get the fancy tablecloth out.
And if your guests are fancy, you’ll even iron it first. After all, ironing is the perfect way to warm up on a chilly evening.
18. You have a system for folding sheets.
Which is different to your system for folding towels. And you’ll happily explain it to anyone who wants to neaten their airing cupboard.
19. You consider being late the ultimate sign of disrespect.
In fact, you’ve been known to wait 5 minutes and then go home. Otherwise they’ll never learn.
20. Your Tupperware game is on point.
One of your favourite hobbies is transferring food from a large storage vessel to a smaller one.
21. The first thing you do when you get home is put your slippers on.
22. The second thing is opening all the windows. There’s nothing quite like airing a house.
Nothing annoys you like a poorly ventilated building.
23. When you don’t get ID’d at the supermarket, you chuckle to yourself and say, “Don’t you want to ID me? Hehehehehhehe.”
You know there’s nothing wrong with a lil mum joke.
24. Your main interests are cushions and throws, complaining to customer service phone numbers, and using discount vouchers.
You love a bargain!
25. You have at least one story about how vitamins saved your hair / skin / nails.
And you’ll tell it to anyone who wants to listen.
26. But most of all, you’re proud of yourself. Because turning into the most powerful woman you know is pretty great.