1. Avoiding work is often the No. 1 priority, even if it means hiding.
Sorry, not really sorry tbh.
2. Getting called in on the weekends = cranky, hungover staff members.
3. Getting hit on at the drive-thru window is an everyday experience, and we laugh at you as you drive up to the next window.
SO FUNNY AND ORIGINAL SLOW CLAP FOR YOUUUUU.
4. Getting teased by your “friends” is also a common experience.
Yep. Laugh at my pain. You don’t have any money, though, so let’s see if I shout you any drinks this weekend, yeah?
5. Sometimes we actually love the Happy Meal toys… but we would never, ever admit it.
6. We have all tried, and failed, to make a burger that looks like they do in the ad.
Spoilers: It is impossible.
7. Breaks are a great time to sit down and ask yourself why you work at McDonald’s.
Yes. It is exactly as sad as it sounds. No, it’s not by choice.
8. If it’s 10 minutes before closing and an entire drunk house party turns up, this is literally all of us behind the counter:
9. We have all experienced performance anxiety over creating the perfect soft serve.
And the mortifying horror of having the entire soft serve topple over in front of a customer.
10. When the register doesn’t add up at the end of the night, this is what it feels like as you get told off.
If you get too much change, please be honest about it.
11. Yeah, we know we smell like grease. We’re too tired to really do anything about it at the end of the night, though, so we’ll probably just turn up to your house party like this:
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it! Please just let me have a beer — my manager just yelled at me because my register was down $2.25!”
12. Literally though that grease doesn’t come off; it has the ability to survive multiple showers with soap.
13. We’d only charge people for sauce if they were rude.
“WHY DON’T YOU HAVE ANY OF THE HAPPY MEAL TOY MY CHILD WANTS LEFT???”
“Sauce is 40 cents, sorry about that.”
14. Working at a 24-hour store is literal hell.
“Say good-bye to any form of social life: You’re doing three closes, have one day off, an open, a day shift, and a night shift. LOLOLOLOL your sleep pattern’s gon’ be fucked!” —Your manager, probably
15. There is a weird divide between McDonald’s workers and McCafé workers.
Like, hi guys, you still work at Maccas and you still smell like grease YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN US.
16. If you bring your kids in to eat multiple times a week, we’re probably judging you out the back.
I mean, YES, we eat McDonald’s multiple times a week, but we work there — WHAT CHOICE DO WE HAVE OMG.
17. Friday night breakdowns during the dinner rush are definitely a thing.
Don’t mind me, just going to walk past you real fast so I can go cry in the toilet NBD.
18. Having grease everywhere, all the time, means slips and burns are commonplace events for the life of a McDonald’s worker.
“Did you see this scar I got???”
19. And finally, LITERALLY NO ONE SPITS IN BURGERS. THAT IS REVOLTING.